My Cone and Only Read online

  It was Friday today, and I was looking forward to the weekend. Not because I was taking it off, but because Andie would be working beside me. Last weekend we’d rebuilt the front steps together and replaced the rotted floorboards in the porch, and damn, if the sight of her working a nail gun wasn’t one of the hottest things I’d ever seen.

  Pure torture, mind you, but the sweetest kind of torture. The kind I couldn’t wait to repeat tomorrow.

  When I heard Andie’s car pull up an hour earlier than usual, I dropped my paint scraper into my toolbox, wiped my hands off, and went around the house to greet her. I’d gotten her a surprise today, and I couldn’t wait to show it to her.

  Her face looked like a thundercloud as she slammed the door of the car, and as soon as I got close enough to get a whiff of her, I had a guess as to why.

  “What the hell is that smell?” I scrunched up my nose as she shoved her messenger bag at me.

  “Bark beetle pheromones.” Instead of going in the front door, she headed around to the back of the house.

  I followed her, hanging back a safe distance from the stink. “Why do you smell like beetle pheromones?”

  “Because I spilled the damn solution when I was baiting traps.” She sat on the back porch steps and started untying her shoes.

  I tried and failed to suppress a grin. “So you smell like sexy beetle juice?”

  She shot me a dark look. “Har har.”

  “Wait—so does this mean every beetle in the area is going to show up and try to have sex with you?”

  “Yes, actually. Which is why I need to get these clothes in the wash before I end up ground zero in a beetle orgy.” Before I had time to avert my eyes, she stood up and pulled her park service polo shirt over her head.

  Andie had never been shy about her body. I’d learned that the hard way when she’d showed up at the Holler the first time and stripped right in front of me as I was trying to get her to leave. I’d nearly stroked out when she’d untied her bikini top, baring her breasts to me, god, and everyone else at the swimming hole that night. My eyes had been faster than my reflexes, so I’d gotten a knockout view before my nervous system had started functioning again and I’d managed to look away.

  This time I tried to play it cooler. If Andie didn’t consider it a big deal, then me clutching my pearls and acting the prude would only make things more awkward.

  At least she was wearing a bra this time. A very practical black sports bra, even. Nothing more revealing than you’d see at the gym or a public pool. No reason to get worked up or excited. The sight of her bare stomach definitely shouldn’t make my blood rush straight to my crotch, but then neither should those khaki pants she wore either.

  Speaking of Andie’s pants, she was already unfastening them, and before I knew it she’d shoved them off her hips and down to her ankles. I swallowed at the sight of her plain black panties and the exposed curve of her ass cheeks as she bent over to pick up her discarded clothes.

  The Lord was truly testing me today. But I was up to the challenge. My dick was not the one in charge here—not where Andie was concerned, anyway. The emergency override protocols in my brain kicked in, and I leaped forward to offer gentlemanly assistance.

  “Here, I can put those in the wash for you.” I held out my hands to take her smelly clothes.

  “Thanks.” She folded them up into a ball before trading them for her messenger bag. “Can you start them on the presoak cycle with two cups of vinegar? It’s in the cabinet next to the machines.”

  I nodded and held the back door open for her, letting her precede me into the house.

  She dropped her bag on the kitchen table as I headed for the laundry room. “And make sure you wash your hands after,” she called out. “I’m going to go shower for a year.”

  I started the washing machine while she went upstairs. Then I used the Lava soap I’d left in the downstairs bathroom to scrub my hands until they were raw and pink to make sure I wouldn’t attract any amorous beetles.

  When I came out of the bathroom, I could hear the shower running upstairs, and I tried not to think about the fact that Andie was naked up there right now. Her skin slick with water, her hands lathering soap over her body and combing through her wet hair…

  Fuck.

  I went outside and put away all my tools to distract me from thinking about Andie naked in the shower. By the time I came back in ten minutes later, the water upstairs was off and I heard the floorboards creaking overhead as she walked around her bedroom. She came down a few minutes later, her hair wet and hanging loose around her face, wearing an old T-shirt and a pair of cutoff jeans shorts.

  I met her at the door of the kitchen and handed her a beer. “Feel better?” She certainly smelled much better—amazing, actually. All traces of beetle love juice were gone, replaced by the honeysuckle scent of her shampoo, which always made me a little weak in the knees.

  “Yes. And bless you for this.” She tipped the bottle at me and took a long drink.

  As she arched her back, my eyes drifted unwittingly to her chest where the peaks of her nipples showed through the thin cotton of her shirt. Definitely not wearing a bra now. Forcing my gaze elsewhere, I gulped down a mouthful of the beer I’d opened for myself.

  “I didn’t stop to get any dinner for us—for obvious reasons—but I figured we could order pizza.” She padded over to the table and dug around in her bag for her phone. “Now that I’ve got that smell off me, I’m starving.”

  “You should take a peek in the freezer,” I said, remembering the surprise I’d gotten her.

  She glanced up at me, her eyebrows arching in inquiry, and I smiled as I inclined my head toward the fridge. Spinning on her bare feet, she yanked the freezer open and let out a squeal of delight when she saw the eight pints of King’s Thar She Blows! bubblegum ice cream I’d stowed in there. “My favorite flavor!”

  “I know.” She really had the worst possible taste in ice cream, but I was willing to enable her disgusting cravings if it made her happy.

  She rounded on me again, smiling for the first time since she’d come home reeking of bug pheromones. “You brought me ice cream? Even though you hate it?” Her eyes sparkled with a warmth that reached right into my chest and gave my heart a hard yank.

  I shrugged like it was nothing. Like I hadn’t done it hoping to make her smile exactly like she was smiling at me right now. “It was on my way.”

  It hadn’t been. I’d made a special trip to the plant just for her and stopped into the warehouse to ask for a case of the revolting stuff to bring home.

  She came toward me, and I knew she was going to kiss my cheek. It was something she did all the time, so I recognized the way she tilted her head up, her lips pursing as she drew nearer, and I knew she’d wrap her fingers around my forearm to lever herself up on her toes.

  Every other time she’d done it, I’d turned my head away, presenting my cheek as I leaned down to make it easier for her to reach. It was instinctive by now. As natural as breathing.

  I couldn’t tell you why I didn’t do it this time.

  I had no idea what I was thinking, but instead of turning away from her mouth, I turned toward it.

  Such a small, insignificant movement. Just a matter of a couple inches.

  But it was the difference between a kiss on the cheek and a kiss on the lips.

  Which was all the difference in the world.

  9

  Wyatt

  I caught Andie’s mouth with mine, just like I’d always wanted to, and everything stopped. My heart, my breathing, my sense of time or place. My brain had already stopped working, clearly, or I wouldn’t have done what I did.

  My entire awareness tunneled to the plush sweetness of her lips pressing against mine as her momentum carried her into me. In that one fraction of a moment when we came together, every inch of me soared to life.

  Until I heard her sharp, surprised intake of breath and reality came crashing down.

  She jerked he
r head back and stared at me, wide-eyed, her lips slightly parted and her breathing heavy with shock.

  I didn’t know what to do. How to take it back. I would have given anything to undo the last second and erase it from both of our memories. All I could do was stare back at her, frozen in panic. My brain too nonfunctional to even form the words to apologize.

  Andie’s hand was still clamped on my arm, and I waited for her to let go and back away from me.

  But she didn’t.

  Instead, I felt her grip tighten, her fingernails digging into my skin.

  The sharp sting shot up my arm and straight to my spine, making my breath stutter loud enough that she must have heard it. Her eyes narrowed, studying me, as her tongue darted out to wet her lips.

  Then she surged forward, hooking a hand around the back of my head to drag my mouth against hers. I froze for a split second before my body took over, responding to her on pure instinct.

  My hands cradled her face as I angled my head to shape my mouth to hers. Her lips parted like silk sheets at the first tentative touch of my tongue, admitting me into her inviting warmth. I’d never tasted her before, and it was everything I’d ever dreamed of and more. Beneath the malty taste of the beer we’d both been drinking, Andie tasted like sunshine and sugar and strength. I delved deep, sinking into her sweetness, and gave myself over to the mindless pleasure of it.

  Her hands dragged down the front of my shirt, then pushed up underneath it. When her fingers touched my bare skin, I made a low, feral sound in the back of my throat. I’d thought being around her was intoxicating, but this electricity between us was so much more intense and exhilarating than anything I’d ever experienced.

  Liquid heat pumped through my veins with every racing beat of my pulse. My whole body sang as she explored under my shirt. Her nails scratched over my stomach, then her fingers dipped into the waistband of my jeans.

  A sudden awareness of what she was doing—what we were doing—jolted me out of my stupor.

  Guilt poured over me like an ice bath, and I tore myself away from Andie with an ungainly lurch. “Shit.” I dragged my hand across my mouth, my chest heaving as I struggled for oxygen. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  She licked her lips, which were swollen and pink from the pressure of my mouth and the scrape of my stubble. “Why?”

  I blinked at her. “What?”

  “Why shouldn’t you have done it?”

  “Because…” My fists clenched at my sides. “Because this can’t happen with you and me.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “This isn’t because of Josh, is it? Because you’re scared of what he’d have to say about it?”

  That was precisely what it was, but I knew what would happen if I said yes. Andie had a knee-jerk reflex against her brother’s attempts to control her, and this would turn into another way for her to rebel against his protectiveness. She’d blow up at Josh and he’d blow up at me and everything would go to shit. It’d be skinny-dipping at the Holler all over again with me caught in the middle trying to keep them both happy.

  I set my jaw. “No.”

  “Liar.”

  This wasn’t an argument I could afford to lose, and I refused to back down. “It’s because of me. Because I care about you, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Then don’t hurt me.”

  She made it sound so simple. As if I was capable of avoiding it. Even though she, I, and her brother all knew damn well I wasn’t.

  I jerked my head back and forth as I shuffled backward another step. “I don’t want to do this with you.” The words tasted sour and corrosive as they came out of my mouth, but I made myself keep going. “We’re friends, Andie. That’s all.”

  She only betrayed the barest hint of a flinch, but it was like a knife stabbing right into my chest. “You said we were family.”

  “We are.” My voice shook a little, and I dug my fingernails into my palms. “That’s why I can’t do this. I’m not going to use you for casual sex. And I don’t want anything more than that—from anyone.” I forced all the conviction I could muster into the last sentence, hoping she’d believe the whopping fucking lie I’d just told her.

  She didn’t say anything. Although she was trying not to show it, I could tell I’d hurt her feelings. She had every right to be pissed at me. I’d initiated the kiss, and not only welcomed her response, but done my own share of escalating.

  And now I was rejecting her after leading her on like a complete asshole. The only thing working in my favor was my own reputation. She already knew what a shitheel I was when it came to women, so she shouldn’t be all that surprised.

  I just had to hope I hadn’t ruined everything. That she’d be able to forgive me so we could move past this and get back to the way things were before I’d stuck my damn tongue in her mouth.

  I made a show of glancing at the clock on the microwave and cleared my throat. “Speaking of…I’ve actually got to go.”

  That snapped her out of her frozen silence real quick. “Are you shitting me?”

  “I’ve got plans.”

  “With a woman?” Her eyes blazed with white-hot anger, but beneath it I saw an unmistakable flicker of hurt.

  An oily coil of shame crept up my spine, and I cast my eyes down at the floor. “Yeah.”

  “You’re really going to kiss me like that and then walk out of here to meet up with another woman?”

  Lifting my eyes to hers, I forced a steadiness I didn’t feel into my voice. “I am, yeah. That’s why you don’t want to go there with me. Because this is who I am.”

  Before she could say anything else, I crossed to the door and pulled it open, pausing on the threshold without looking back at her. “For whatever it’s worth, I really am sorry. I wish I could be something other than what I am, but we’re both stuck with me as is.”

  I let the screen door slam behind me as I walked away from her house.

  I didn’t have a date tonight.

  Obviously.

  That had been a lie. A gross one that I regretted. But it had sent the message I needed Andie to receive.

  Loud and clear.

  There was no chance of her ever kissing me again. That was what I’d wanted. But goddamn, it hurt.

  After I left Andie, I drove straight to Tanner’s place. He took one look at me and pulled out his best bottle of whiskey. While he poured two glasses of WhistlePig, I unloaded the sorry tale of my enormous fuckup and the events that had led up to it. The only part I kept to myself was Dad’s involvement in Andie’s HOA troubles. My mood was bad enough already without turning this into another bitch session about our father.

  “So let me make sure I’m getting this right,” Tanner said when I’d finished. “You finally worked up the courage to kiss the girl you’ve been in love with since forever…and then immediately walked out on her after making up a lie about having a date with another woman?”

  “That pretty much covers it, yeah.” I knocked back another mouthful of his very fine whiskey and leaned forward to refill my glass.

  Tanner rubbed his forehead. “Jesus, Wyatt. You’ve made a lot of bad decisions in your life, but this time you’ve reached breathtaking new heights of foolery.”

  I threw myself back against his couch and splayed my legs out, resting my whiskey glass on my knee. “Worse than when I painted a dick on Principal Whitmeyer’s car?” That particular stunt had gotten me suspended for two weeks and kicked off the baseball team, but it was only one of the many self-destructive choices I’d made over the years.

  “Maybe, yeah.”

  I took another drink, relishing the pain as it burned its way down my throat. “What was I supposed to do?”

  “I don’t know, how about just tell Andie how you feel about her?”

  I barked out a laugh. “Sure. And ruin my oldest friendship? Sounds like a great plan.”

  “At least tell her the truth instead of a lie. Don’t you owe her that much?”

  I did, but I was to
o much of a coward to do what was right when an easier path presented itself—one that would get the job done decisively and with a lot less arguing. If I’d told Andie the truth—that Josh was the reason I’d slammed on the brakes—she wouldn’t have let it lie. She’d have tried to talk me out of my reservations.

  And I would have let her.

  I shook my head, staring into my glass. “It wouldn’t have worked.”

  “Maybe together you could have figured out a way to make it work.”

  “There’s no making it work. On this particular issue, neither Andie or Josh are prone to being reasonable.” My mouth twisted into a dark smile. “You know how siblings can get about stuff.”

  “So what?” Tanner said. “Maybe it’s messy and painful for a while. But Josh won’t stay mad at you forever. He’ll get over it once you show him you know how to treat Andie right.”

  That was half the problem right there. When had I ever treated a woman right in my life? I wanted to believe I’d treat Andie better, but what if I didn’t know how? I couldn’t even blame Josh for not wanting me dating his sister. Not with my track record.

  I swallowed around the knot in my throat and made a face. “It smells like cat piss in here.”

  “Radagast has another kidney infection.”

  I glanced around, but didn’t see Tanner’s big old brown tabby anywhere. Usually he’d be trying to climb into my lap by now. “Where is he?”

  “Probably asleep on my bed. The antibiotics make him nauseous.”

  “Is he okay?” I asked, but what I was really asking was if Tanner was okay. He’d had that cat for ten years. Our dad was allergic to cats, so we’d never been able to have one growing up. The first thing Tanner did when he got his own place, even before he bought himself a couch or a bed, was go to the local shelter and pick out a cat to bring home.